Life Coaching for adults with ADHD and those that live with us
I'm a Midwestern guy, married with 2 kids, who grew up in and around Detroit. Over the years, I've been a semi-professional musician, artist, writer, improviser, college instructor, and, most importantly, a Dad and husband.
Alongside that, I had my Day Job - a 40-plus year career in IT, doing everything from Computer Operator (IBM 370 anyone?) to Software Developer to travelling the world teaching various software products.
Over the years, I earned two M.A.s (Philosophy of Religion and Performance Studies) and taught for Eastern Michigan University, Washtenaw Community College, and U.C. Berkeley Extension. I teach Improv as a tool for developing social skills and a sense of Being Present. I've been a musician (folk, classic rock, jazz, and in churches) most of my life, both in the S.F. Bay Area and here in southeast Michigan.
So where did the ADHD show up?
There were three major problem areas for me:
1) even though I was productive and successful, I never really felt that way. Sometimes, it felt like Impostor Syndrome ("at some point, people are going to realize I'm winging it!") and sometimes it was as simple as not appreciating my accomplishments ("well, if I can do it, anyone can do it").
2) I was never able to prioritize the pile of things in front of me, so I was in a constant state of overwhelm. I'm incredibly grateful - and lucky - that I had a series of really great managers at work and mentors in life. They were somehow able to see my strengths and weaknesses and get the best out of me.
3) my relationships were completely unpredictable. They went from amazing to destructive. I was always late, I'd drop off the map and be out of touch for weeks on end, just to show up again as though nothing had happened. It affected me too - I stayed in bad relationships much longer than I should because I didn't understand what was going on.
As you might expect, my wife got the worst of it. Neither of us knew what was going on and we lived with a lot of tension and bad decisions for a lot of years. My facilitation of ADDA's Non-ADHD Partner Peer Support Group has really opened my eyes to the subtle ways our ADHD complicates our relationships.
Then, in 2013, I was diagnosed with ADHD (at the age of 57). It explained so much! Since then, I've educated myself on the discussion around ADHD ("It's a superpower!" "It's a disability!" "It's just 'square peg/round hole' in a linear culture" and, of course, "It isn't a real thing - we all forget where we put our keys").
I maintain a bi-weekly ADHD support group in Ann Arbor, I've attended and presented at ADHD conferences, and I host several weekly virtual support groups for ADDA.
Starting in March, 2020, I also host the Neurodiversity Lounge for ADHD in virtual reality, currently on AltSpace.